CLASSIC PIMP MOVES

CLASSIC PIMP MANEUVERS by CliffytheClown

He is too old to be a real basketballer!

-He pretends to be an accomplished baller who almost made it PRO.  He says and talks about all his friends that are also big ballers and how they almost made it PRO or SEMI PRO.  He says he is always at a game or participating in a game.  He will try to show you he is part of the HBA Basketball Scene or Concord Basketball scene or anywhere in the bay area by sending you fake web links via text message bragging that he is a baller with "all heart".  Don't be fooled about his great SKILLZ, he isn't great at all.  He has a knee injury, and supposedly needs surgery from being such a great player, well, all of this is to get into your wallet and your heart so you feel bad for this scumbag.  He will go as far as carrying around a workout bag, saying he was at the gym and in some cases...  To prove he was at the gym,  he will even try to show you a wet tshirt (obviously that he has been carrying around with him) and make you touch it.  Like that is proof,  a WET Tshirt that he carries around to pretend he worked out.  WHO DOES THAT???  WHAT A CREEP!!!

-He tells you he hates his Babymama (bm)  This is a classic pimp manuever to make you feel bad for him.  He will say she is a drunk, a horrible mother, and is always cheating on him.  He will even blame it on her if he gives you an STD or disease.  He will tell you repeatedly HE HATES THAT WHORE AND WILL NEVER GET BACK WITH HER.  He will tell you stories of how she embaresses him in front of his friends and tries to get with them.   He said he wanted to"OJ" her repeatedly and was happy and laughing when she totalled her car.  Remember, he is a great pimp and actor and he is really giving her the same messages of love that he pretends to give you.  This is a classic pimp move, keep your women under control...

-He needs money for childcare.  Usually it is around 200 or 300 dollars, which is about the price of an ounce.... you do the math.  He says his bm is incompetent and can't pay for the childcare so he tries to squeeze you for it.  Don't fall for it, he will use his child as an excuse for anything.  This is a another classic pimp move.

-He is a victim of society and cannot find a job.  I personally did his resume for him twice, this guy just doesn't want to work.  He is the laziest of lazy and will never have the drive to take care of himself and his child.  Run... ladies, RUN, if he says he is looking for a job, don't believe it.  He wants to hustle people and take them for anything they will give him, he does not want to work at Foot Locker, or HARD or Taco Bell, or  KFC or any other place he "might" be getting a job.  This is a classic pimp move, to make you think he needs your help to live.  Another play on your sympathies....

- He is so turned on by you.  He wants you all the time, texts you in the morning and in the evening with messages of sex and love.  He will text you in the morning and say he was dreaming of you the night before or he was thinking of you.  These are little terms of endearment that really work on a lonely girl or FAT girl.  He will even send you pics of his dick and of him jerking off while thinking of you.  Also, he loves your ass and always grabs it and wants to touch it.  THe fatter the better!  Don't be fooled by any of these acts, since he has at least 3-8 other women he is telling this too, you are not special and never will be to a sociopath like him.  His dick may be long, but it is diseased and insincere, save yourself the trouble and look for a guy who isn't a sociopathic liar.


- He tries to keep you confused and always wants proof if you think he is with another girl.  By keeping you confused, he tries to yell, scream or lose his temper in front of you to get his way.  This is a classic pimp move.  He is a seriously angry black man who will try to prove to you he loves you or is telling you the truth by screaming at you or abusing you verbally.  It is also a tactic to keep you feeling bad for him or feeling sympathy.  Just remember, you aren't the reason for his anger, he brings it on to distract and confuse you.  He knows how to control himself, he just chooses to act crazy to keep you in control and or upset and confused.


- He won't let you touch his phone and sleeps with it attached to his body. Since he is constantly messaging someone or somebody, you can't help but wonder.  Also, he will ask you to pay his phone bill, saying he won't be able to talk to you if you don't help him pay his bill.  Don't be fooled, he is just too lazy to work to pay for all the women that he is hustling.